Finland Trip Recap: the cold, the warm, and the middle school feelings

The Sarkkinen family expansion is almost finished. We are at 4/5 kids married, with the latest really branching out. Sven and Tuulia got engaged in November, and instantly our to do list got very big. Never have we had a destination wedding to plan for.

First on the agenda - getting the kids passports. Sorry to be such a proud mom but I mean

Then there's the planning the planning the planning, airport itineraries, air bnbs, rental cars, hotels, extra anxiety medicine, breathing techniques and of course learning a few basic russian phrases in case the they invaded whilst we were there.

Potato Farmers wife was quite exhausted before ever even leaving the US.

But the day came, we had triple checked everything, and off we went. So here's a recap split into categories- warm, cold, middle school, and homecoming.

Oh and also the reason we went in the first place - the WEDDING

THE COLD:

Well obviously. Its Finland in January

Not much more to say here. Also in general people are a little colder, not going to make eye contact or just smile for anyone.

Walking by a random person outside:

America:

Finland:

THE WARM:

The saunas. Good hot wood saunas, saunas in hotels, outdoor saunas, hot hot hot and amazing.

The welcome. Wow we were quite blown away by how welcoming the whole church was. There were about 50 Americans total, and everyone agreed we felt very special and taken care of. I had assumed that Finland gets a lot of visitors but it turns out its not a popular destination (especially in January). Coming from Wilmington where its strange if there ISN'T a visitor on any given Sunday, I felt a bit upstaged like I could do a better job of hospitality. I mean its supposed to be southern hospitality not Finnish hospitality.

The rest of the trip we got to visit a lot of people, I will say I was touched by the warmth, the excitement of the locals. They were so happy to have visitors and so glad to hear how its the same Christianity.

And it really is a wild feeling to sit inside this big church with candles, snow outside, finnish language all around you. And yet the words being said are the same that you would here at home. And to look at the preacher with a 20 syllable name, short, clean cut and almost the exact opposite of Wayne McBride, but the things he is saying is the same word. As much as your brain is already occupied with all the small details it just cannot comprehend but your heart is just nodding along.

Church building in Lahti. Brad was convinced it was the same size as Lewisville church, though locals said it was bigger.

Also adding to the warm was the way people there are very content with life. People live in smaller apartments or houses, drive smaller cars, and in general make do with less. Visiting there was such a reminder that you don’t need to have 2 living rooms and an outside patio area to host. When it is a houseful of Christians it is such a nice evening even if people have to take turns to eat or pull up extra chairs and pillows to visit. The whole point isn’t a perfectly spacious set up but its just for Christians to gather and share experiences.

Pre- Finland Potato Farmers wife used to stress when having company, about too many people and not enough food or spots to sit and the sound acoustics when having company. But no more. Because really if there's not enough food there's always a taco bell on the way home.

THE MIDDLE SCHOOL

When you are in a new country, your brain never gets to go on autopilot. The simplest things like going to the grocery store, driving a car, pumping gas, calculating the distance between Putin and you are so much harder to figure out in a new place.

Brain scan showing persons brain at home vs. in a new country. Gray matter shows autopilot usage, colored matter shows neurons firing and general confusion

The smallest task, like buying diaper rash cream, is this monumental mission, which multiple levels and plot twists along the way.

Lucia heading out to find diaper rash cream:

Lucia explaining twists and turns of the mission to Brad after returning victorious:

You truly feel like a fish out of water. Your senses are on high alert, noticing every thing around you, especially social cues. Like maybe you are browsing at the local mall and your sister in law says something particularly funny and you are laughing, when it dawns on you that your laughter is ringing throughout the entire store and the other silent shoppers are giving you strange looks. Congratulations, you've stumbled upon a rule: don't be loud and obnoxious in public here, its not cute, its alarming.

It is like being in middle school again. Middle school is truly the time that you are absorbing all the unwritten rules of society. Think about it- there is so much change but no one sits you down and explains anything. You just have to notice that suddenly everyone is wearing Hollister or covering their binder in stickers from the ski show and casually do the same. No one is like "Oh by the way Lucia, we all had a meeting and decided that we are wearing jeans that go juuust above the butt crack line" Its a tough time. No wonder middle schoolers are tired and crabby all the time. Autopilot doesn't really exist yet.

Aaah.. low rise flare jeans of 2008. And the layered tank top look. Good times

Another way being in middle school is like being in a foreign country is the self consciousness. Good golly Potato Farmers wife considers herself to be a strong independent confident woman even when 30 weeks pregnant but wowza. I felt like my pregnant belly tripled in size as soon as we landed in Helsinki. Everyone around me was stylish and skinny and there I was clunking around with the few warm clothes I had. And then I realized my church outfit wasn't going to work and the PANIC I felt was like trying to find a communion outfit when you are 15. Just saying I've worn my hair in full cornrows to church in Wilmington without second thought.

Luckily Svea stepped in with this crisis but I'm like geez louise lucia, what s the big deal. The big deal is I'm already nervous about going to church and I don't want to stand out any more than I already will. It was like having a zit in middle school. Later in life a zit won't be as big of a deal but in middle school it WILL ruin your week.

Luckily we had boots on the ground over there to help with the culture differences.

Rooted from the deep mountains of Yacolt, Nicole spoke not only fluent Gark but also provided us with insights on the culture and more importantly, snow clothes for the kids. Very fun to hear about life as a finnish mama. She was also able to explain to me why no one thought I was funny there. Different sense of humor. I wonder how many comedians perform to a finnish audience.

Nicole explaining her strategies for navigating any given social situation with Fins:

THE WEDDING

well first of all that whole stereotype of fins being quiet and never laughing and not talking to strangers definitely does not apply to a wedding scene, everyone was SO welcoming , so friendly, so quick to try to speak English or to just talk Finnish and smile until you are agreeing and smiling along too.

As we were sitting down for the wedding I realized it was very very very quiet. I don't know that I've ever been in such a quiet church. Later we realized most people don't bring their babies to weddings because its a long event.

They read through the wedding vows and then the preacher had a special sermon just for Sven and Tuulia. This was translated to English and was super neat, very intimate feeling.

Afterwards, there was a congratulations line and coffee, then everyone was seated. One of Tuulias brothers acted as the MC, introducing speakers and performers. Friends and family members gave speeches and sang songs. Some funny, some serious, some heartwarming- but NO APPLAUSE. After they were done everyone just waited for the MC to announce the next thing. Even after the Sarkkinen family performed a song written and directed by Kristine, no one clapped.

Then there would be a song sung, and break for food, re- unite, more speeches, more songs, break for coffee etc.

It was a very warm and cozy feeling, almost a blend of a Sunday service with a wedding.

Being out and about in public with kids who don't look like the michelin man level of bundled gets you a lot of condescending looks from other moms.

HOMECOMING

WARNING: THE REST OF THE POST WILL BE EXTREMEMLY PATRIOTIC

Landing in Charlotte airport.

aaaah. bliss. The first guy to check our tickets was this black guy with big hair and earrings and I was like yes, I am once again back amongst my people.

And I swear you land and your lungs just recognize its pure clean American air molecules with a touch of capitalism. You feel your shoulders drop a few inches and your face muscles relax. You look around, and people are wearing - COLORS!! so so much variety.

FINNISH STREET STYLE:

Those posters that are like "be yourself" must not exist in Finland but we Americans have certainly absorbed the message. Especially at an airport you look around and there's a girl with no bra on, a guy with an NRA tee shirt, big people, small people, someone wearing leggings with a very obvious underwear line. Lower standards, higher acceptance. My pregnant belly actually just felt like a pregnant belly not the huge monstrosity it had been in Finland.

And right away strangers chatting with Thomas and Avery, and you walk into starbucks because of course that should be your first stop. And there's music playing, the barista is singing along, a group of friends talking and laughing while they wait for their drinks, and just NOISE. And you smile because you know exactly what to do. How you're supposed to act, how to pay, how to order. Autopilot switch turns on.

I couldn't stop talking about how good it was to be home and all the things I was noticing and Brad listened for about the first 3 and then turned his ears off.

Then we got home, and I just looked at everything with a new set of eyes. Who did we think we were to be living in this mansion? Why was everything so spread out? I went in our bathroom and yodeled at over the vast landscape of the tub, shower, sink, toilet and space in between it all. I estimated three European bathrooms would fit into our one.

The first week home we were just doing the bare minimum. Sleeping a lot, and just acclimating to the time and to America and listening to God Bless the USA. Having many dreams about being stuck in London airport and we can't find our gate, lost my wallet, our flight is about to leave and we are being held for an extra security check .

If you think this post is long, just know I worked VERY hard not to talk about every single detail of the trip (anyone whose been around me since is like okay Lucia we get it Finland is different)

But overall, it was a lovely trip, we are wishing Sven and Tuulia the best as they start their married life over there.

So that's that on Finland in January. Very enjoyable trip, met a lot of nice folks, enjoyed the snow and the food and the experience- but good to be home. Hmm I think there is one of those embroidered grandma pillows that sums this up.

Love, peace, and wisdom from grandma pillows

Potato farmers wife

Potato Farmers wife new look since going international